What not to say on a first date

Not that I’m an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I thought I’d collect a few ones which weren’t brilliant. These are all either mine, or from someone I know. Let me know if you have any great suggestions.

#1 ‘Fibre – it makes you regular

#2 ‘The colon cleansing power of fibre [this was genuinely a different person from #1]

#3 ‘How is someone like you still single?

UPDATE: Thanks for writing in, S! These are excellent

#4 ‘So, how do you think this is going so far?

#5 ‘When was your last relationship?

#6 ‘Tell me about something nobody else knows. Tell me a secret!

#7 ‘What’s your story? [too open-ended, S says, although I’ve heard worst – see #1 above]

#8 ‘I can’t believe that’s what you’re ordering!

UPDATE 2: One of mine – #9 ‘Do you have a five year plan? Does it include kids?

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